Greetings, fellow humans! This week, I have mostly been painting a Loonboss. A Loonboss on Giant Cave Squig, to be precise.
This little git is called Sesta, and he completes the leadership of my Gloomspite Gitz army, alongside Looga and Barooga (my Skull Pass Loonboss and Shaman). He’ll be my overall general, on account of the heightened stature afforded by his Squiggly mount, Wurr. This model totally flew under my radar when it came out about a decade ago, but it’s very characterful and fits great alongside the new Hopper/Bounder models.
To celebrate finishing my leader, I wrote a short story featuring him and his cronies.
Sesta surveyed the land from atop his Giant Cave Squig, Wurr. As the general of The Brotherhood of Ognob, he’d led his Moonclan tribe out of their dank caves and into the open air of Ghur, the Realm of Beasts. It was so big out there! No cavern roofs to block out old Frazzleface, just an endless sea of greens and browns. He started to feel nervous, but didn’t want his lackeys to notice. Quickly, he decided to put some pressure on them, and take it off himself.
“Right, you two,” Sesta began. “I hope you’ve both managed to get some of the bigger boys to join us out here?”
Looga the Loonboss and Barooga the Shaman stood in front of Sesta. Looga shuffled uneasily. Barooga sneakily took a step backwards, leaving the Loonboss to answer first.
“Well, boss, I convinced the brothers to fight for us. It only cost us twelve barrels of fungus brew.”
“That’s not bad, Looga.” replied Sesta. “With three gargants on our side, we’ll be able to stomp people good!”
“Yeah, boss.” Looga continued. “About that…”
“Well, we must have given them a bad batch, because one of the brothers drank a bit much, and…, well, he’s dead now, boss.” declared Looga quietly.
“He’s what?” snapped Sesta.
“Dead, boss.” Looga confirmed. “Nart downed a whole barrel then ran off to the drops. We heard a massive ripping sound and then there was an awful stink. Uzwak and Wellud went to see what had happened, and said that he blew his own legs off.”
“So he’s proper legless?”
“And it’s just two brothers now?”
“Yeah, boss. It’s just two brothers. Although, they’re too scared to go back to the drops now, because they say that they’ve seen Nart wandering around…” Looga trailed off.
“I thought you said he was dead?” Sesta retorted.
“Oh, he’s definitely dead, boss.” Looga chirped up. “That’s why they’re scared.”
“Oh.” replied Sesta. “We’d best leave him alone then. He might be a bit angry with us.”
At that moment, a breeze blew past Sesta, who worriedly glanced over his shoulder. He didn’t want a ghostly gargant chasing him down because of a dodgy batch of moonshine.
“And what about you, Barooga?” he quickly followed with, hoping that neither of his underlings saw him jumping at the wind. “Did you get any Troggoths to join us?”
“Yes, boss.” Barooga advised. Hoping that his success would further highlight Looga’s failure. “I found a load of Fellwater Troggoths that wanted us to show them where the fish Aelves are. They said that they sound tastier than the dirty fish that they’ve got in their swamps.”
“Fish Aelves?” queried Sesta.
“Yes, boss.” Barooga answered, suddenly not sounding quite as confident. “People say that they swim around with magic. Loads of Aelves and loads of big, fighty fish.”
“Fish Aelves?” cackled Sesta. “Aelves what swim? I thought you were the clever one, Barooga. Next you’ll be telling me about Duardin what fly!”
“Well, there are those ‘Carry-On’ Duardin…” Barooga muttered under his breath.
“What did you say?”
“Erm… nothing, boss.”
“I thought so.” finished Sesta.
Sesta’s hopes hadn’t been high for these two. In fact, part of him hoped that they’d have gone away and gotten themselves eaten by the help that they were trying to enlist. All things considered though, a pair of gargants and a mob of Troggoths were impressive reinforcements. Best not give them too much praise though, Sesta thought, lest they start getting too big for their boots.
“Well,” resumed Sesta. “They may be a bit thick, but those Troggoths are handy to have in a scrap. With the two brothers, and all our Gobbos and Squigs too, nothing can stop us from taking over Ghur!”
Sesta’s Squig mount made an excitable noise.
“No, Wurr.” explained Sesta. “I said Ghur, not Wurr.”
The Giant Cave Squig made the same noise again, recognising its name.
“I’ve just been to see King Ognob,” Sesta informed his fellow bosses, “and he’s getting all excited about something. I reckon this is it; the Bad Moon is coming! And when it does, we’ll follow wherever it leads – and give anybody what gets in our way a good stabbin’!”